Response-ability
resetting mental pathways, trust and communication, Sorry Day, the light that gets lost
Lately I’ve been focusing on a value that is important to me, responsibility. To me, it means having the ability to respond with care, kindness, and thoughtfulness. This is very much a practice - I’ll never be perfectly responsive all the time and I’m still learning to take responsibility in many different spheres of my life. This month I’ve been practicing:
listening carefully and pausing before making decisions at work
being accountable for my own behaviour and understanding of other’s in relationship conflicts
balancing and pacing myself according to my body’s needs when exercising
and the biggest learning curve has been responding to our dog, Maggie
Oh this dog! We knew when we rescued her from the shelter last year, she had past trauma and would be challenging. But we didn’t fully comprehend how much work it takes to reset mental pathways and nervous system reactions. How much we need to continually to learn about ourselves and adapt. How willing we need to remain to trust and communicate with another species.
If you visit me at home, you might notice a few changes around the dog. Her needs include limiting stress and excitement, and reconditioning the fear response. We are using lots of new tools and strategies for this, including medication, redirection, and a predictable routine.
So next time you visit, please don’t interact with her - just walk past without talking, touching or making eye contact. This will help her learn to stay calm and settled, and follow instructions when people are visiting.
Today is National Sorry Day in Australia. This is another chance to practice responsibility, by reflecting on the Stolen Generations and how we can contribute to healing together. National Reconciliation Week follows Sorry Day and is a time to celebrate Aboriginal culture and learn about our shared history and potential future. This year’s theme is bridging now to next.
It’s inspiring to see my daughter and her friends learning about this and sharing their ideas about reconciliation. Their generation faces a very different future to previous generations, and it gives me hope to watch them develop creative and alternative skills for this unknown. They are literally our bridge from now to next!
Inspiration
Rebecca Solnit’s beautiful writing about the light that gets lost:
The world is blue at its edges and in its depths. This blue is the light that got lost. Light at the blue end of the spectrum does not travel the whole distance from the sun to us. It disperses among the molecules of the air, it scatters in water. Water is colorless, shallow water appears to be the color of whatever lies underneath it, but deep water is full of this scattered light, the purer the water the deeper the blue. The sky is blue for the same reason, but the blue at the horizon, the blue of land that seems to be dissolving into the sky, is a deeper, dreamier, melancholy blue, the blue at the farthest reaches of the places where you see for miles, the blue of distance. This light that does not touch us, does not travel the whole distance, the light that gets lost, gives us the beauty of the world, so much of which is in the color blue.
Much love,
Emily
We hope Maggie appreciates her new family and responds well.
Love to you all,
Dad & Deb xxoo